Excerpt From My Book SHE

QUESTIONS OF THE HEART

She watches you while you sleep and dries the sweat from your forehead, she tolerates your snoring even though it is really loud. She watches you inhale and exhale while you toss and turn; she comforts you because you may be having a bad dream. You steal all the covers and she wishes she could steal them all back and let you freeze to death. She doesn’t because she loves you. She tolerates everything because she cares. It’s 1 a.m. and the silence is deafening; she cannot sleep.

She is up thinking, praying, hoping that her dreams won’t be crushed in the blink of an eye. She faces the silence; she hears the slow yet sure beating of your heart. She wonders, she ponders. Does he love her? Does he love her as much as she loves him? Does he love her more? Is this just another one of his games? Silly, stupid, childish games. Does he under- stand the concept of a heart not wanting to be broken? Does he even care?

Silence. Pure deadly silence as she feels her heart slowly, slowly, slowly shatter. She focuses her attention back to him, the man she loves, the man she cares so deeply for, the man who betrayed her. She contemplates the pain of the past, a journey of lust, lies, and deceit. She thinks, “Why is it so easy for men to get away with everything ? Why do I easily give in? Why do I forgive? Why do I break down my walls to the blatant occurrences? Why am I so weak? Why can’t I be strong?”

Silence as the tears stream down her cheeks. She thinks, she ponders, she wonders, she cries, she laughs. She laughs hysterically, cries even louder, laughs again. She slowly wipes her tears and drifts off into a deep sleep, a place of solitude, a place of peace

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